I am safe.
What an interesting morning. I couldn't sleep all night because of the rain and frozen rain, then this morning after I finally got a couple of hours of early morning sleep, I woke up to my bedroom flooded with sunlight. What a wonderful start to Fire Week.
I quickly came down and sat beside the altar I've set up in the living room and read/started today's tasks. I light a candle and began with the Level 1 task of listing my fears. There are many. I acknowledge my fears about the past, my fears about the future, my fear of rain and thunderstorms, as well as my fears of losing my father, my family, my memories, my mind, and of crumbling down in weakness.
The scenario I played out was the last. What would happen if I crumble down into my weaknesses? Would it empower my children? Would it be the beginning of a "Lillian re-boot" - a re-building or renovation of myself? You can only build if you have a cleared foundation, right? It could mean my own rebirth.
12:40 - I read a section I had taken from Thursday's newspaper. It was about old age, dementia, Alzheimer's. It was very timely that I read it today and it validated that what I am trying to do with my health - that is, exercising regularly, trying to eat right, keeping an eye on my cholesterol - is on the right path to preventing that which I fear most - losing my mind.
We'll see what the rest of the day holds. I'm not sure if I will attempt Level 2 or 3 today, but we'll see, the day is young.
