I had a pretty good day yesterday, I visited my new workplace and it was great. My daughter was able to visit my dad in hospital, so I didn't need to go. She reported he was in good spirits and that was great to hear. I was able to attend my art class and I felt like I was freed when I was drawing. I haven't felt like that in so long. The instructor liked my work and with each pass commented on how well I was doing. (Even at 51 a teacher's positive remarks are still welcome!) I love drawing and I miss it so much.
In terms of exercise, I haven't been able to fit it in at all. I think I'm going to re-enroll in belly-dance. I had fun and it kept me moving. I've been having more arthritic pain, which I didn't have while I was exercising regularly. What I have done well this week is stick to my eating plan and not binging on snacks or refined carbs. We'll see what the WW scales say tomorrow.
Today is Friday and it's really welcomed!!! TGIF
Friday, June 5, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Wishcasting well wishes
Wishcasting Wednesday, that Jamie has going, is really something else. I made my wish this morning and a bunch of wonderful people responded with their well-wishes and miraculously (or not) my father seemed so much brighter tonight when I visited.
Over the weekend, he was quite down and insistent on me arranging a haircut for him in preparation for the inevitable. I resisted, telling him he wasn't going anywhere, but that I'd order a hair cut just to freshen him up. The hairdresser made it today and he got his cut (a crew cut, which is strangely funny because my father has always had a " '50's haircut"). He was eating on his own, and, with some help from me, ate a good portion of his food, not everything, but he did not refuse, which has been the norm as of late.
I decided to shampoo him since he was in such good spirits so I bundled him at the neck with towels and shampooed and rinsed his hair. He asked for a second lather/rinse, which I did and by the end of it he was laughing with joy. So, I carried on with the "spa treatment", shaved him, washed his hands, cut his nails and got the nurse to change his sheets and gown. He was smiling and laughing, asking me if I still wanted him around. "Are you kidding?!!? Of course I do!"
All in all it was a nice visit, one that I haven't had in a long time. I think either the anti-depressants are kicking in or God heard all the well-wishes and made him feel better. I like to believe the later. Thank you.
Over the weekend, he was quite down and insistent on me arranging a haircut for him in preparation for the inevitable. I resisted, telling him he wasn't going anywhere, but that I'd order a hair cut just to freshen him up. The hairdresser made it today and he got his cut (a crew cut, which is strangely funny because my father has always had a " '50's haircut"). He was eating on his own, and, with some help from me, ate a good portion of his food, not everything, but he did not refuse, which has been the norm as of late.
I decided to shampoo him since he was in such good spirits so I bundled him at the neck with towels and shampooed and rinsed his hair. He asked for a second lather/rinse, which I did and by the end of it he was laughing with joy. So, I carried on with the "spa treatment", shaved him, washed his hands, cut his nails and got the nurse to change his sheets and gown. He was smiling and laughing, asking me if I still wanted him around. "Are you kidding?!!? Of course I do!"
All in all it was a nice visit, one that I haven't had in a long time. I think either the anti-depressants are kicking in or God heard all the well-wishes and made him feel better. I like to believe the later. Thank you.
Wishcasting Wednesday
Today's wish question is:
What is your wish for June?
My wish for June is for my father to get strong enough to leave the hospital and get on with his new life as an amputee. My wish is for my father to be enlighten that this is not the end of the rope and that he can continue to live a full life, even though it might not the same life he had before his leg was amputated.
I wish my father would start eating again, regardless of whether he thinks hospital food is good or not, but that he will see how important it is to eat in the journey back to health. I wish he will live to see his 84th birthday on June 24th. And I wish for the strength to be there for him without losing myself completely, as I feel parts of me have chipped away and fallen by the wayside.
I wish health for my father and peace for myself.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
The toll of stress
The past few days have just been incredibly stressful. My father's emotions are swinging from one end to the other. On Sunday, he was so down, asking to have his hair cut in preparation for his passing. By all medical accounts, he is stable and should be doing well. His emotional well-being though is not well. They started him on anti-depressants which (I hope) will be kicking in soon. As his emotions flucuate, so do mine. As a result, I am exhausted both physically and mentally to the point that I opted out of going to work this morning so I could start the day off slowly. I will be going to the hospital to see him, run some errands, and then off to work. This morning, I was able to wrap up a report that I've been trying to get to for 4 days but, because of the busy-ness at work, have not been able to complete it. The announcement of my move to a new building was made public and I am so very happy about that. Now when things are rough at work, I think about the new beginning in September and can get through my day.
My weight has been flucuating as badly as my emotions. I am retaining water like a sponge. I start the day off with the intentions to stick to my eating and exercise plan, then by the end of the day, I'm off the rails. I suspose I should focus on actually getting through the day and not beat myself up when I don't honour myself by eating properly and exercising. I think I have to preserve what mental well-being I have left to help me get through the next few months. I am trying to remain positive through all this, with the hope my father will get stronger.
My weight has been flucuating as badly as my emotions. I am retaining water like a sponge. I start the day off with the intentions to stick to my eating and exercise plan, then by the end of the day, I'm off the rails. I suspose I should focus on actually getting through the day and not beat myself up when I don't honour myself by eating properly and exercising. I think I have to preserve what mental well-being I have left to help me get through the next few months. I am trying to remain positive through all this, with the hope my father will get stronger.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Wishcasting Wednesday
This week Jamie asks us to consider...
What's frivolous treat do you wish for?
That's an easy one for me this week. There is a diamond semi-eternity band I would like as a gift for our 25th wedding anniversary.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Back on the wagon
After four straight days of integrating exercise back into my day, I feel I can say I am back on the exercise wagon. The frustrating part is the water retention I get whenever I start exercising after a period of not exercising. The good part of feeling and understanding this frustration is that this time I am not giving up and stuffing my face with my comfort foods - chocolate, chips, and pop.
I will get to my goal weight. I will do it by the end of this summer. And I will do it by eating well and exercising!
10:00 pm (update) Today seems to be never-ending with problems - upset kids, upset teachers, upset parents. Went to the BBQ, I thought I ate OK, but by the time I got home I had both a headache and feeling of bloatedness. Got on the scale (which was a stupid thing to do) and weighed 165!! So...the good news is, rather than continue eating, I went downstairs and cleared out some old paperwork. I'm still craving something but I think I'll have some tea and then head to bed.
I will get to my goal weight. I will do it by the end of this summer. And I will do it by eating well and exercising!
10:00 pm (update) Today seems to be never-ending with problems - upset kids, upset teachers, upset parents. Went to the BBQ, I thought I ate OK, but by the time I got home I had both a headache and feeling of bloatedness. Got on the scale (which was a stupid thing to do) and weighed 165!! So...the good news is, rather than continue eating, I went downstairs and cleared out some old paperwork. I'm still craving something but I think I'll have some tea and then head to bed.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
WW Saturday
Went to a different meeting this morning so I could meet up with my friend. This group was very lively and the leader was really perky...perky in a good way, not in an annoying way. I weighed in and was down 0.4 lb from last week. This is good, although on my scale I was down 1.0 lbs, so I have to think about which weight I'll be recording in my little tracker at the top of this blog.
I always leave the WW meetings feeling so inspired...but then by about Tuesday it all peters out. I think having my weight loss journey "out there" as opposed to secretly tucked away in my kitchen table drawer, might be an excellent motivator for me to stay on track.
Today I was hoping to get a bunch of errands done, in addition to seeing my dad at lunch and dinner. He seems to be a bit better and I say this cautiously. He's out of isolation and now has a roommate, which I know he likes. They've put him on an anti-depressant to deal with the downward spiraling emotional state and he's laughing -- laughing almost too much, but it's better than the constant crying.
As I am committing to taking care of myself, I promise to fit in cardio again today and really work on get a rhythm back to re-integrate strength training because it was when I was doing regular strength training with the trainer that I was really losing weight. It's been since she left that I've done none and the weight's come back on.
I always leave the WW meetings feeling so inspired...but then by about Tuesday it all peters out. I think having my weight loss journey "out there" as opposed to secretly tucked away in my kitchen table drawer, might be an excellent motivator for me to stay on track.
Today I was hoping to get a bunch of errands done, in addition to seeing my dad at lunch and dinner. He seems to be a bit better and I say this cautiously. He's out of isolation and now has a roommate, which I know he likes. They've put him on an anti-depressant to deal with the downward spiraling emotional state and he's laughing -- laughing almost too much, but it's better than the constant crying.
As I am committing to taking care of myself, I promise to fit in cardio again today and really work on get a rhythm back to re-integrate strength training because it was when I was doing regular strength training with the trainer that I was really losing weight. It's been since she left that I've done none and the weight's come back on.
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