This week Jamie asks us to consider...
What's frivolous treat do you wish for?
That's an easy one for me this week. There is a diamond semi-eternity band I would like as a gift for our 25th wedding anniversary.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Wishcasting Wednesday
That's an easy one for me this week. There is a diamond semi-eternity band I would like as a gift for our 25th wedding anniversary.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Back on the wagon
After four straight days of integrating exercise back into my day, I feel I can say I am back on the exercise wagon. The frustrating part is the water retention I get whenever I start exercising after a period of not exercising. The good part of feeling and understanding this frustration is that this time I am not giving up and stuffing my face with my comfort foods - chocolate, chips, and pop.
I will get to my goal weight. I will do it by the end of this summer. And I will do it by eating well and exercising!
10:00 pm (update) Today seems to be never-ending with problems - upset kids, upset teachers, upset parents. Went to the BBQ, I thought I ate OK, but by the time I got home I had both a headache and feeling of bloatedness. Got on the scale (which was a stupid thing to do) and weighed 165!! So...the good news is, rather than continue eating, I went downstairs and cleared out some old paperwork. I'm still craving something but I think I'll have some tea and then head to bed.
I will get to my goal weight. I will do it by the end of this summer. And I will do it by eating well and exercising!
10:00 pm (update) Today seems to be never-ending with problems - upset kids, upset teachers, upset parents. Went to the BBQ, I thought I ate OK, but by the time I got home I had both a headache and feeling of bloatedness. Got on the scale (which was a stupid thing to do) and weighed 165!! So...the good news is, rather than continue eating, I went downstairs and cleared out some old paperwork. I'm still craving something but I think I'll have some tea and then head to bed.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
WW Saturday
Went to a different meeting this morning so I could meet up with my friend. This group was very lively and the leader was really perky...perky in a good way, not in an annoying way. I weighed in and was down 0.4 lb from last week. This is good, although on my scale I was down 1.0 lbs, so I have to think about which weight I'll be recording in my little tracker at the top of this blog.
I always leave the WW meetings feeling so inspired...but then by about Tuesday it all peters out. I think having my weight loss journey "out there" as opposed to secretly tucked away in my kitchen table drawer, might be an excellent motivator for me to stay on track.
Today I was hoping to get a bunch of errands done, in addition to seeing my dad at lunch and dinner. He seems to be a bit better and I say this cautiously. He's out of isolation and now has a roommate, which I know he likes. They've put him on an anti-depressant to deal with the downward spiraling emotional state and he's laughing -- laughing almost too much, but it's better than the constant crying.
As I am committing to taking care of myself, I promise to fit in cardio again today and really work on get a rhythm back to re-integrate strength training because it was when I was doing regular strength training with the trainer that I was really losing weight. It's been since she left that I've done none and the weight's come back on.
I always leave the WW meetings feeling so inspired...but then by about Tuesday it all peters out. I think having my weight loss journey "out there" as opposed to secretly tucked away in my kitchen table drawer, might be an excellent motivator for me to stay on track.
Today I was hoping to get a bunch of errands done, in addition to seeing my dad at lunch and dinner. He seems to be a bit better and I say this cautiously. He's out of isolation and now has a roommate, which I know he likes. They've put him on an anti-depressant to deal with the downward spiraling emotional state and he's laughing -- laughing almost too much, but it's better than the constant crying.
As I am committing to taking care of myself, I promise to fit in cardio again today and really work on get a rhythm back to re-integrate strength training because it was when I was doing regular strength training with the trainer that I was really losing weight. It's been since she left that I've done none and the weight's come back on.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Belly Dance
I'm really missing the belly dancing classes I'd been taking for about a year now and was watching some belly dances on YouTube when I came across some tribal-style belly dancing videos. This one is especially nice because I have the CD with the Bulgarian singers. The music is terrific, the dancing along with it make it a mesmerizing video to watch.
Slavyansky tribal belly dance:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIO0hSRqzCE&feature=related
p.s., if anyone knows how to upload a video from YouTube to Blogger could you please let me know...thanks!
Slavyansky tribal belly dance:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIO0hSRqzCE&feature=related
p.s., if anyone knows how to upload a video from YouTube to Blogger could you please let me know...thanks!
Wishes
What a wonderful day yesterday was! Starting with the wishcasting and the lovely return wishes! The day went pretty well, I visited my father and he seemed like his old self - he's been up and down the past month. The hospital has given him some medication to deal with his emotional health. Looks like he'll be out of isolation soon, he's beat the c-dif and hopefully won't get it again. My wish for him is that he returns to the rehab hospital and continues working toward getting a prosthetic leg.
Work was terrific...mostly because I worked offsite! Started my day relaxed, got a lot of work done - it's amazing how much you can get done when no one bothers you! And at the end of the day, I got the good news that I've been praying and WISHING for!
Thank you, fellow wishcasters, maybe wishes do come true!
Today, I stuck to my diet mostly...and I found I wasn't craving anything. I was down a pound this morning, but the real weigh in that counts is the one at WW. I haven't fit in exercise this week, except for what I did on the weekend, so I have to get shaking with that. Speaking of shaking, I totally miss taking belly-dancing. I think I'm going to have to figure out a way to fit it back it. I just loved those classes.
Tonight, I was at my drawing class...I also come back from that class feeling so peaceful. Three hours of uninterrupted drawing, what a pleasure!! I need to practice more...I did better my first week, in that I drew everyday. Well...add that to my "to do" list too...
:-)
Work was terrific...mostly because I worked offsite! Started my day relaxed, got a lot of work done - it's amazing how much you can get done when no one bothers you! And at the end of the day, I got the good news that I've been praying and WISHING for!
Thank you, fellow wishcasters, maybe wishes do come true!
Today, I stuck to my diet mostly...and I found I wasn't craving anything. I was down a pound this morning, but the real weigh in that counts is the one at WW. I haven't fit in exercise this week, except for what I did on the weekend, so I have to get shaking with that. Speaking of shaking, I totally miss taking belly-dancing. I think I'm going to have to figure out a way to fit it back it. I just loved those classes.
Tonight, I was at my drawing class...I also come back from that class feeling so peaceful. Three hours of uninterrupted drawing, what a pleasure!! I need to practice more...I did better my first week, in that I drew everyday. Well...add that to my "to do" list too...
:-)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Wishcasting Wednesday
What is your highest self wishing for?
What's rumbling in your soul?
What is your highest self wishing for?
My wish for myself is to be understanding. To quash the angry feelings I have as a result of past mistakes. To be kinder to myself in order to help repair my emotional scars. To be kinder to myself by finding ways to work through the stresses in my life and find positive ways to express stress rather than stuffing my mouth with junk food.
What's rumbling in your soul?
The desire to live a creative life. The desire to treat my body as a temple and feed it good food and keep it moving. The desire to love myself, as I love my family, and forgive myself once and for all. The desire to stop judging myself and, in turn, be kind to my soul.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Wishcasting
It's Sunday morning and I was just perusing some of the blogs I follow. I've decided to join Jamie's Starshyne Wishcasting Wednesday (even though I'm starting on Sunday, I think this is a good exercise for me).
I wish to connect with me. The 'me' who was more carefree than the one I know now. The 'me' who had pride in herself and didn't punish her body for every little thing she deems as a "failure" - this 'me' hasn't been around for a long, long time.
I wish to connect with me who believed she could do anything. I think I'm meeting up with her now, as I am trying the things I've wanted to do in my lifetime.
I wish to connect with me and be happy.
Who do you wish to connect to?
I wish to connect with me. The 'me' who was more carefree than the one I know now. The 'me' who had pride in herself and didn't punish her body for every little thing she deems as a "failure" - this 'me' hasn't been around for a long, long time.
I wish to connect with me who believed she could do anything. I think I'm meeting up with her now, as I am trying the things I've wanted to do in my lifetime.
I wish to connect with me and be happy.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
WW Saturdays
Saturdays are my weigh in day at Weight Watchers. Today I was a hefty 162.4, up from last week. I have been so inspired by Helen - Biggest Loser winner this season. She's about my age, married with two kids, and she looks phenomenal!
The Biggest Loser diet is a pyramid of 4-3-2-1 (four servings of fruits and veggies; three of lean protein; two of whole grains; and one "extra") paired with exercise. Well, I've dropped the exercise altogether due to the increase in stress. I'm trying to stick to eating actual food, as opposed to processed or refined foods. Mostly protein and veggies with no or very little carbs from refined carbs...like a high-protein diet, but with complex carbs. Why is this not working? Well, could be from the candy dish that is in a colleagues office...that whenever I'm stressed, I find myself there and grabbing a bunch of candy!!! This week she had tootsie rolls, which I love!!! Also, I only got to the gym once and did no exercise at home. So, was I surprised by the weight increase...no, not really! Mostly disappointed...in myself.
This week I promise I will not eat when I'm upset and I will stop snacking. For exercise, I will get to the gym at least twice and try to do either a pilates or yoga dvd. Plus I've got my drawing class for soothing my soul (I still have to figure out how to upload the artwork without a scanner).
The Biggest Loser diet is a pyramid of 4-3-2-1 (four servings of fruits and veggies; three of lean protein; two of whole grains; and one "extra") paired with exercise. Well, I've dropped the exercise altogether due to the increase in stress. I'm trying to stick to eating actual food, as opposed to processed or refined foods. Mostly protein and veggies with no or very little carbs from refined carbs...like a high-protein diet, but with complex carbs. Why is this not working? Well, could be from the candy dish that is in a colleagues office...that whenever I'm stressed, I find myself there and grabbing a bunch of candy!!! This week she had tootsie rolls, which I love!!! Also, I only got to the gym once and did no exercise at home. So, was I surprised by the weight increase...no, not really! Mostly disappointed...in myself.
This week I promise I will not eat when I'm upset and I will stop snacking. For exercise, I will get to the gym at least twice and try to do either a pilates or yoga dvd. Plus I've got my drawing class for soothing my soul (I still have to figure out how to upload the artwork without a scanner).
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Thursday May 14, 2009
Just got back from my drawing course. What a great experience. It turns out, a friend of mine as original painting she bought years back, from the artist-instructor for my course! What a small world...I've admired that painting for years and here I am learning from the artist himself. Tonight we were working from a live model. I forgot how tiring drawing for three hours can be!
Before going to class, I dropped by the hospital to visit my father. He was sitting up, which hasn't happened for about a month. I'm feeling hopeful. He's a two bouts with c-difficile - which is a highly contagious bacterial infection people get in hospitals. The first time he got it, he was sent from the rehab hospital to emerg in our local hospital. It turned out he had also had a heart attack. Things just seemed to spin out of control within a very short period of time. Since then, he's been in isolation, which is really, really difficult on him. I was sharing the visiting with my daughter, but she's started her work term and isn't available to visit him...so, it's up to me to visit every night. I get there around 5 or 5:30 and sit with him until his dinner arrives, then I feed him, wash his hands, face and teeth, and get him ready for sleep, then I go home. So my life right now is work-hospital-home-sleep, work-hospital-home-sleep, and so on.
The differences from nurse to nurse is amazing. One time I got there after the food arrived. When I walked into the room, after getting dressed in the isolation gear you have to put on, there was a nurse standing beside his bed with one hand on her hip, the other hand holding a spoon of food in front of my father, and my father's face covered in food. I could not believe my eyes. I quickly dismissed her. Cleaned him up, fed him. Got him ready for bed. Then went straight to complain. Since then, I have not missed a dinner, and haven't seen anything so dispassionate again. Now...I'm hoping and praying the meals (breakfast and lunch) that the nurses DO feed him, go a bit better than what I witnessed.
It sucks being an only child, the responsibility and burden is incredible. Trying to care for a parent, as well as caring for your family...and trying to squeeze out time for yourself is an almost impossible task. I'm not doing anything well and I feel bad all the time. That's why I abandoned all the exercise and "fun" stuff I did. BUT, with this drawing course, I'm trying to get myself back on track and try to care for myself too.
Before going to class, I dropped by the hospital to visit my father. He was sitting up, which hasn't happened for about a month. I'm feeling hopeful. He's a two bouts with c-difficile - which is a highly contagious bacterial infection people get in hospitals. The first time he got it, he was sent from the rehab hospital to emerg in our local hospital. It turned out he had also had a heart attack. Things just seemed to spin out of control within a very short period of time. Since then, he's been in isolation, which is really, really difficult on him. I was sharing the visiting with my daughter, but she's started her work term and isn't available to visit him...so, it's up to me to visit every night. I get there around 5 or 5:30 and sit with him until his dinner arrives, then I feed him, wash his hands, face and teeth, and get him ready for sleep, then I go home. So my life right now is work-hospital-home-sleep, work-hospital-home-sleep, and so on.
The differences from nurse to nurse is amazing. One time I got there after the food arrived. When I walked into the room, after getting dressed in the isolation gear you have to put on, there was a nurse standing beside his bed with one hand on her hip, the other hand holding a spoon of food in front of my father, and my father's face covered in food. I could not believe my eyes. I quickly dismissed her. Cleaned him up, fed him. Got him ready for bed. Then went straight to complain. Since then, I have not missed a dinner, and haven't seen anything so dispassionate again. Now...I'm hoping and praying the meals (breakfast and lunch) that the nurses DO feed him, go a bit better than what I witnessed.
It sucks being an only child, the responsibility and burden is incredible. Trying to care for a parent, as well as caring for your family...and trying to squeeze out time for yourself is an almost impossible task. I'm not doing anything well and I feel bad all the time. That's why I abandoned all the exercise and "fun" stuff I did. BUT, with this drawing course, I'm trying to get myself back on track and try to care for myself too.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Wednesday May 13, 2009
This past week, I turned 51!! Wow...and I'm still smiling (mostly). When I turned 50 I made a promise to myself to do the things I've always wanted to do and the last thing I was able to squeak into my 50th year, was the start my Fine Art Certificate at a local college!! So, my dream of studying art is finally rolling and I'm really happy about it. As far as celebration, didn't do too much of that as my father is still in hospital and I spent the evening with him. But, my youngest son DID pass all his courses of his second semester in university - after a rough start in first semester. My nephew dropped by and shared with us he got accepted into the university programs he applied to - after a really rough finish to high school, with our support, he was able to pull himself together and finish high school. He came over because he wanted to share the joy with the people that helped him and it was significant that he got the acceptances on my birthday. Not typical gifts by any description, but made me extremely happy nevertheless!
I'm still working on my weight...have been having a rough go of it. Was doing really well, got down to 155, but am back up to 162. My other blog was meant to follow my weight management quest, but I've sort of abandoned everything and am now trying to get back to writing - it's very theraputic for me, a really good release. I'm so thrilled with this past season of Biggest Loser - Helen, a 48 year old mother of three, won! She looked terrific - what a great role-model for me. I keep thinking, "Oh I'm getting older...it's OK if I'm a little heavy." But, it's not...I don't feel good...so, I'm getting back to exercising which I've also abandoned in the last couple of months.
If I can get my scanner to work, I'll post some of the drawings I've done in my college class. I love drawing and am looking forward to this experience.
I'm sending lots of love to the universe!
I'm still working on my weight...have been having a rough go of it. Was doing really well, got down to 155, but am back up to 162. My other blog was meant to follow my weight management quest, but I've sort of abandoned everything and am now trying to get back to writing - it's very theraputic for me, a really good release. I'm so thrilled with this past season of Biggest Loser - Helen, a 48 year old mother of three, won! She looked terrific - what a great role-model for me. I keep thinking, "Oh I'm getting older...it's OK if I'm a little heavy." But, it's not...I don't feel good...so, I'm getting back to exercising which I've also abandoned in the last couple of months.
If I can get my scanner to work, I'll post some of the drawings I've done in my college class. I love drawing and am looking forward to this experience.
I'm sending lots of love to the universe!
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