At the end of every school year educators and educational workers transition into summer mode; only, for me, that transition is not a smooth process. I usually feel like I hit a wall, face first. There is a sense of loss, mourning. The end of a school year. This year, in particular, the end of my time at a particular school. The loss of relationships, friendships. The loss of routine...which I crave.
Summer usually marks a period of disarray for me. The need to find routine, the need to find my place. When the kids were little, I would program our summer activities...create a routine, a summer "normal." You would think after all these years, I would get used to it, but I haven't. Every year is a new challenge; a new summer normal has to be created. This summer marks one year since my father got sick. One year of medical appointments. One year of doctors and hospitals. One year of worry, confusion, and sadness. One whole year. My father is scheduled to be on a tapered course of antibiotics until he’s done on July 24th. Then what?
Today was an especially tough one as I watched Michael Jackson's memorial and was reminded of so many memories from my childhood. Tomorrow I go into work for the morning and then, technically, I’m done until late August. So, why am I not relaxing and enjoying the release from the fast and hectic pace of an urban high school?
It’s summer…and I need a routine.
Summer usually marks a period of disarray for me. The need to find routine, the need to find my place. When the kids were little, I would program our summer activities...create a routine, a summer "normal." You would think after all these years, I would get used to it, but I haven't. Every year is a new challenge; a new summer normal has to be created. This summer marks one year since my father got sick. One year of medical appointments. One year of doctors and hospitals. One year of worry, confusion, and sadness. One whole year. My father is scheduled to be on a tapered course of antibiotics until he’s done on July 24th. Then what?
Today was an especially tough one as I watched Michael Jackson's memorial and was reminded of so many memories from my childhood. Tomorrow I go into work for the morning and then, technically, I’m done until late August. So, why am I not relaxing and enjoying the release from the fast and hectic pace of an urban high school?
It’s summer…and I need a routine.
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